It was a shock to almost everyone around us—we’d moved in together after a month of dating. Six months later we were engaged; at eight months in we found out we were expecting; and finally at nine months into the relationship we got hitched. A good number of people date for a while and work out the kinks before taking the dive into a lifetime commitment, but I truly believe that getting married while we were young and stupid put us in the right place to stay married come hell or high water.
We weren’t set in our ways yet
Lots of couples who get married later in life already have a way they do things individually. By the time we got married, neither one of us of had been living on our own for very long. We learned how to be adults at the same time. We grew together.
There’s no question that we made plenty of mistakes; we’ll continue to do so moving forward. The hubster and I haven’t agreed on all of it, but we made it a priority to discuss it all and compromise when necessary. Maybe it’s because we were so young when we got married, still accustomed to following rules set forth by parents and teachers and bosses, but we always talked until some sort of resolution was reached.
We’ve faced a lot from the very beginning
No marriage is without its trials, and we started early. From arguing with relatives to losing our child, we’ve faced it all as a team. There is something about hardships that really unites a couple and creates a bond that is difficult to shake.
The little things can become big things too. Choices about your children, your home, or even the family pet can become overwhelming, but just like the mindset of a young grade school child, knowing that you have no choice but to be in the same room and work it out does wonders.
We were never idealistic
When you get married, you are overflowing with love, and you can’t imagine life not being all sunshine and rainbows. When that facade crumbles, some people handle it better than others. You’d think that being younger when we got hitched would mean we were still full of all those beautiful dreams about soulmates and prince charmings, but we weren’t. I don’t know what it was—blame it on the liberal college educations we were getting—but we talked about the reality of marriage from the beginning. You know what those chats revealed? We weren’t soulmates. We were two imperfect people who worked really hard to make a life worth living together.
Truth be told, marriage simply isn’t for everyone. It is, however, for us. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong age to get married—just maybe the right or wrong person to get married to. I’m incredibly lucky, I found my person early in life, and we were in the right place and the right state of mind to make a marriage work.